Physical intimacy may not be involved in an emotional
affair. However, it can still be considered infidelity if one partner
undermines the other by putting too much trust in another person for emotional
attachment.
What Is Emotional Cheating?
Emotional cheating in committed relationships refers to the
act of a primary partner relying on emotional support from someone outside the
relationship. Because it is not a sexual affair, people frequently regard
emotional cheating as micro-cheating. The person outside the relationship may
not be a romantic partner, but they are someone with whom the primary partner
has a strong emotional bond. Emotional cheating can violate relationship
boundaries, increase sexual tension, and create an emotional bond that is
harmful to the primary relationship.
Emotional Cheating vs. Friendship
Platonic friendships and emotional cheating both involve a
sense of emotional intimacy and closeness, but their implementations differ.
Emotional cheating occurs when a partner crosses boundaries that harm the
primary romantic relationship. A platonic friendship should not lead to sexual
infidelity or physical contact that violates a relationship rule.
Couples should invest emotionally in close friends, family,
coworkers, and others in addition to the one they share. Emotional cheating
occurs when one partner is unhappy with how much time and attention a partner
devotes to another person, often at the expense of the committed partner's
well-being.
8 Signs of Emotional Cheating
Emotional deception can manifest itself in a variety of
ways:
1. They are far apart. People who are emotionally cheating
may distance themselves from their significant other, resulting in diminished
sexual attraction.
2. They are easily irritated. Emotional infidelity can cause
the cheating partner to be irritable and unwilling to discuss the changes in
their relationship.
3. They violate trust. A breach of trust in a relationship
is a red flag and a common occurrence in emotional cheating. You may experience
an unexpected emotional distance, and your partner may lie about where they
spend their time.
4. They form suspiciously close friendships. Outside
friendships are necessary for all healthy relationships. However, if a partner
relies on someone other than their romantic partner to fulfill their
relationship needs, it can disrupt the foundational emotional connection.
5. They keep secrets. If a partner sends text messages
or spends time with someone but refuses to reveal their identity, they may be
emotionally cheating.
6. They lack emotional availability. People who cheat
in this manner will seek emotional support from others while withholding
feelings from their primary partner. Emotional cheating can be indicated by
being emotionally unavailable.
7. They prioritize nonworking hours with a coworker. If
a person spends nonworking hours with a coworker in a way that interferes with
the primary relationship, they may be emotionally cheating.
8. They talk more about the outside person than
usual. A partner who constantly brings up the person with whom they are
having an emotional affair may be a sign of too much emotional intimacy.
Why Does Emotional Cheating Happen?
People emotionally cheat on their partners for a variety of
reasons. Consider the following considerations:
A significant other is emotionally unavailable. Because one
partner may not be emotionally available, the other looks for it in someone
else. When partners are unhappy in their relationship, they seek solace from
others.
A partner feels belittled. If the emotional cheater believes
their partner does not respect them, they may cheat in order to gain their
partner's attention.
A partner is underappreciated. People may also emotionally
cheat if they do not appreciate their partner. Emotional cheating can cause
harm and make the cheated-on partner feel insignificant, negatively impacting
their mental health and emphasizing the importance of respect and trust in the
relationship.
The Impact of Emotional Cheating
Breakups and breakthroughs can result from emotional
cheating. In the worst-case scenario, emotional cheating reveals a lack of
respect between people, which can lead to a breakup and negatively impact the
cheated-on partner's mental health.
Emotional cheating, which is sometimes considered a lesser
form of cheating than physical cheating, can also expose flaws in a
relationship and encourage growth. The pain caused by emotional cheating can
spark healthy conversations between couples in order for them to better
understand their partners' needs.
4 Tips for Preventing Emotional Cheating
Creating emotional safety in your relationship is critical
for preventing emotional cheating. Consider the following strategies to avoid
emotional infidelity:
1. Be truthful to yourself. You are the most aware of your
emotions. If you believe you are getting too close to someone or that someone
is attempting to get too close to you, be aware that emotional cheating can be
dangerous. Face these feelings head on, establish boundaries with this
outsider, and talk about your fears with your partner, as hiding behind them
can lead to resentment later on.
2. Maintain regular communication. Make a place and a home
where both parties can express themselves freely. Make eye contact, hold hands,
and openly express your feelings to your partner.
3. Practice emotional availability with your partner. Be
open and vulnerable in front of your partner, and they will reciprocate. Tell
your partner how much you value them and consider your life without them to help
prevent emotional cheating.
4. Consult with a relationship therapist. Couples therapy
does not require that you be in distress. Ongoing, standing appointments can
benefit everyone involved by providing an open forum to discuss concerns and
expectations.
How to Navigate Emotional Cheating
There are a few options for dealing with emotional cheating
in your relationship. You may:
1. Restore trust. First, if you believe the relationship is
worth saving, consult with a relationship expert. Therapy can assist you in
regaining trust. Emotional vulnerability should be practiced by both you and
your partner.
2. Discuss boundaries with your partner. Share your needs
and feelings about outside friendships in your relationship. Outside of your
primary relationship, you and your partner may discover that having deep
emotional relationships with others is acceptable. In this case, try
nonmonogamy, but be sure to define which boundaries are important to you.
3. End the relationship if need be. Finally, and in the
worst-case scenario, emotional cheating may reveal that you are not in a
healthy relationship, and this type of disloyalty may be the final straw.
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