Couples therapy can assist couples in resolving household
disagreements, sexual incompatibility, or infidelity. Discover how relationship
therapy can promote healthy relationships, as well as advice from relationship
expert Esther Perel.
What Is Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy, also known as couples counseling, is a type
of therapy in which a romantic partnership participates. Couples therapy
assists couples in resolving conflicts, improving communication, and
strengthening their relationship. Therapy can be a great way to help partners
who are about to end their relationship. In general, couples therapy is a
short-term skill-building exercise that can lead to long-term positive change
in a relationship.
Couples therapy and marriage counseling are similar, but the
latter focuses on current relationship issues rather than identifying past
behavior patterns. According to the American Association of Marriage and
Family, couples therapy benefited more than 97% of surveyed couples.
How Does Couples Therapy Work?
Couples in couples therapy typically meet with a licensed
counselor once a week. A therapist can mediate between the couple as they
express their issues and concerns, as well as provide feedback based on their
interactions. A therapist can also provide techniques and advice on how to
resolve relationship distress and improve the couple's relationship dynamics.
Couples may benefit from family or individual therapy in addition to couples
therapy in some cases.
4 Types of Couples Therapy
Couples therapy can be an excellent way to strengthen the
bond between domestic partners or anyone in a romantic relationship. Consider
the various kinds of couples therapy:
1. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This treatment
identifies and works to change negative behavioral and thought patterns. As a
result, it assists people in developing problem-solving skills.
2. Emotionally focused therapy (EFT): This psychotherapy
approach strengthens the couple's attachment bond by reducing feelings of
detachment and anger, allowing the couple to move in a more positive and
healthy direction.
3. Gottman Method: The Gottman Method, named after
psychologist John Gottman, focuses on encouraging positive interactions between
couples so that they can develop feelings of closeness and affection. This
method can assist couples in overcoming conflict.
4. Premarital counseling: Premarital counseling programs
help couples discuss important issues in order to lay the groundwork for a
healthy marriage. Couples may not have lived together prior to their wedding
day, have not fully explored their sex life, or have never had another type of
long-term commitment. In these cases, premarital therapy provides a safe space
for couples to discuss their concerns and issues.
4 Couples Therapy Techniques
Relationship counseling can assist couples in empathizing
with one another and understanding the underlying cause of their conflict.
Consider the following relationship expert Esther Perel's techniques and tips
for better communication and conflict resolution:
1. Build empathy: Therapists can help couples put
themselves in each other's shoes to see issues from their partner's
perspective. This can help individuals cultivate compassion and empathy, as
well as approach dialogue in a healthy manner. "When we get too caught up
in thinking about ourselves, it can sometimes interfere with our ability to
think about and understand others," Esther says. "Empathy is exactly
that; it is the ability to put ourselves in the shoes of another."
2. Identify issues: A marriage and family therapist
(LMFT) can assist the couple in identifying patterns in their disagreements.
Therapists can also identify the root causes of the couple's conflict, whether
it's an emotional problem, a communication problem, or a physical problem, such
as substance abuse. Esther believes that dealing with conflict early on is
critical. "Conflict is basically an ascending curve that starts with
discord, disagreement, or a challenge and ends with an explosion," she
says.
3. Improve self-awareness: The therapist can assist a
couple in better understanding themselves and their partners by delving into
their pasts. Both partners in a relationship need to be self-aware. "What
is the significance of self-awareness in relational life? It's so obvious that
defining it can be difficult at times. "Self-awareness entails... the idea
that you can look at yourself and how you act and react in relationships, how
you communicate in a relationship, and how you show up," Esther explains.
"That sense of self-awareness is also what gives you the ability to look
at others and understand them."
4. Name emotions: Therapy can assist couples in
identifying the feelings at the heart of their conflict, such as one partner
feeling taken for granted by the other or another feeling disconnected from the
relationship. To recognize your partner's emotions, you must listen. "If
someone is pissed, sad, angry, or hurt, they probably have a reason,"
Esther says. "There is no need for us to do anything about this. They
exist, they will pass through, and they will emerge on the other side.
What to Expect From Couples Therapy
Following the selection of a therapist, couples meet for
weekly sessions with the therapist, either virtually or in person. A couples
therapist will begin the first session by interviewing the individual partners
and asking them questions about themselves, their cultural background, personal
values, and the history of the relationship. The therapist will use the first
session to work with the couple to identify relationship issues and develop a
treatment plan, including the number of therapy sessions the couple will need.
They will also work with the couple to establish goals for the couples therapy
sessions.
The counselor will work with the couple to address their
issues over a series of weekly sessions recommended by the therapist. The
therapist can provide feedback on the couple's relationship, conflict
resolution techniques, and ways to strengthen the couple's bond. They can also
give the couple homework to help them work on their interactions at home. If
one of the partners has more serious issues, such as substance abuse, the
therapist can recommend specialized treatment.
5 Benefits of Couples Therapy
Many couples can benefit from couples therapy to strengthen
their relationship. Consider the following couples therapy benefits and
takeaways:
1. Develops skills: After a set number of sessions with the
counselor, the couple will have learned new skills for better communicating
with each other, having a better relationship mindset, and resolving
disagreements.
2. Provides answers: Couples therapy can explain why
partners disagree and why each person acts in ways that may irritate their
partner.
3. Improves satisfaction: Couples who attend couples therapy
report higher levels of happiness and relationship satisfaction. Individual
partners' mental health can benefit from couples therapy.
4. Saves time: Couples frequently argue about the same
topics in different contexts. Couples therapy gives couples the tools they need
to communicate and resolve conflicts quickly and peacefully before they
escalate into bigger problems.
5. Strengthens relationships: Couples who attend couple's
therapy tend to leave with a stronger bond, more empathy and understanding for
their partners, improved interactions, and a more positive outlook on their
relationship.
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